Trying to Change People - By Andrew Matthews

Trying to change other people is usually a bad idea!

Why? Because you get frustrated - and they start to hate you!

Example 1:

Fred and Mary are lovers. Mary figures, "Fred is not perfect ... but I can CHANGE him! I'll teach him manners. I'll stop him drinking ..."

Mary is determined to "fix" Fred. But Fred doesn't want to be fixed.

So Fred gets angry and resentful - and Mary gets exhausted.

Both are unhappy!

Example 2:

Let's say that my life is a total mess. I'm out of control, and everyone can see it. Friends give me advice, and I ignore it.

Soon enough ... KABOOM! I go bankrupt or I get fired ... or I get arrested.

I am shattered! But BECAUSE I am shattered, I start to pay attention! I change my behaviour - and my life improves.

Positive change is a natural process. Frequently it unfolds like this...

Step 1: STUPIDITY, followed by
Step 2: DISASTER, followed by
Step 3: DESPERATION, and finally
Step 4: COMMON SENSE.

We need each step.

If you force change upon people, you disrupt the process.

You say, "But it's painful to watch other people being STUPID!"

Right! But when you force them to change, they don't learn.

In a Nutshell

People fall into two groups:

a) Those that make regular adjustments to their life strategy
b) Those that like to hit a brick wall, and then change.

Neither want you to tell them how to live!

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