As the Principal made his rounds during the first day of school, he heard a commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, much taller than the others, who appeared to be making the most noise.

He seized the boy, dragged him to the hall, and told him to remain there until he was excused.

Returning to the classroom, the Principal restored order and lectured the students on the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said, "are there any questions?"

One girl stood up timidly and asked, "Yes, Sir. May we please have our teacher back?"

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt and it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class become more and more unmanageable.

Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.

Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.  Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

An elderly man stormed into his doctor’s office steaming mad.

“Doc, my new 22-year-old wife is expecting a baby. You performed my vasectomy 30 years ago, and I’m very upset right now.”

“Let me tell you a story,” the doctor calmly replied.

“A hunter once accidentally left the house with an umbrella instead of his rifle. Out of nowhere, a bear surprised him in the woods… so the hunter grabbed the umbrella, fired, and killed the bear.”

“Impossible, ” the old man said. “Someone else must have shot that bear.”

“You got it,” the doctor replied.

Got this article in my email inbox today.  Enjoy!

Cup of Tea!

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know...)

"Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

I didn't pay much attention to this Ad and thought those people in the Ad are representing M1 employees. So I was thinking how can M1 be mocking themselves.

Until my friend Patrick pointed out the colours of their clothes and the piggy bank phones.

I must admit, I was not observation enough.



Background information:

There are 3 major Telecom Operators in Singapore, SingTel, M1 and StarHub, the main colour of their logos are Red, Orange and Green respectively.

Looks like the demands of typical Singaporean? Read on for good laugh.

Do you think the Traffic Police or LTA will ever allow such signs on the roads?

This story tell us not to be 'too kind' to our bosses.

Here it goes:

There's this Jaga Singh who was working for a multi-millionare as a house guard. One day, while the millionaire was driving out to catch an early morning flight to conclude a business deal, Jaga Singh ran out from the guard house and stopped the millionaire's car just right in front of the gate.

He said 'Sir..Sir.. are you going to board a plane?' 'Yes, why?' asked the millionaire.

'You had better cancel the trip. You see, last night I dreamt about the plane going to crash.'

Curious over the early morning fright that Jaga Singh had given, the multimillionaire decided to cancel his trip.

'You better be damn right for this is a million dollar deal.'

The following day, there were news reports that the plane which the millionaire was supposed to take had indeed crash landed.

'Thank God, I cancelled the trip,' the rich man said Realising that what Jaga Singh had said had come true, he called the Singh to see him.

When the guard was called that morning, the millionaire gave him his salary and FIRED him. WHY ?

Think first....

Use your brains

Use your brains!!!!!

Still no idea??








Come on...... it is very easy....










Still drawing a blank????

Just imagine you are the Singh and you have saved your boss' life........

OK-lah, since you do not want to 'use your brains' like Jaga Singh before you talk to your boss..........

Just scroll down for the answer...












ANSWER

Jaga Singh was supposed to guard the house at night ...NOT to Sleep and Dream all night!!

So don't try to save your boss's life! It's not worth! Always save your own ass first! Haha!!

Finally, another set of good commercial from M1. Well done, my ex-marketing colleagues of M1!

I was barely sitting down when i heard a vioce from the other stall saying : "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom But i don't know what got into me, so i answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of quesion is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so i say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point im just trying to get out as fast as i can when i hear i hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but i figured i could just be polite and end the conversation. i tell him, "No....... I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then i hear guy say nervously... .

Listen. i'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my
questions!!!"

When I take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough.

When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy.

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative!

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating.

When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview.
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked.

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets .

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just 'an old rag'.

6. Although their clothes are always 'just an old rag', they still expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.